My Mother Set Me Up On A Blind Date!? With A Co-Worker's Daughter!!

    Well crap. Although as weird sounding and impossible as it may seem, it happens to lots of people all over the world. In some places it's tradition, where others it's, well...a great way to reduce the motherly population? I was a victim of this ploy by the MAFIA (Mother's Actively Finding Interested Affiliates). What was sick is that SHE was excited!! She told me how pretty this girl was and how the girls mother took the picture my mother had of me off her desk to show her. Now when your mother tells you a girl is pretty a red flag should always go up because I have yet to meet a mother who has been able to successfully point out a woman whom her son finds attractive. Not to mention when they start talking about how *smart* the girl is, I tend to take this as a ploy by my mother to keep my mind distracted with other qualities so that I don't think about looks, which means she's probably not pretty at all. Now I'm not saying that looks are #1, but the truth is, looks play a part too. I mean you don't have to be overly drop dead gorgeous, just a little cute. The thing with looks is, every guy has his own tastes, so what's unattractive to one guy, can be almost model like to another. It's like the saying says, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." 

    Okay, enough philosophical crap and complaining about my awful experience that fueled this section! Your mother has set you up on a blind date, okay that's not good...but what's that you say? With a co-workers daughter?!?!  Looks like life just crapped in your petunias, and they were such lovely petunias too! So now we really have a situation on our hands...you don't know what the chick looks like, for all you know, she could be the spittin' image of your pets puke, or the clone of a super model! What a dilemma! 

    You could always ask for a picture of course, but this might prove to everyone that your interested in only looks, which suddenly makes you a chauvinist pig in your mother's office! Not to mention this reputation might embarass your mother (though you may feel she deserves it after pulling this little stunt on you) and your warm welcome you used to receive in your mother's office, might suddenly cool to luke warm or arctic. Your poor petunias!!! 

    Another ploy enacted by some men, is to ask where she hangs out or works, then appear as a normal customer and see what she looks like. Of course the downside to this wonderful brain child, is that if she paid attention to your photo (provided you had the same situation I did...) she'll recognize you and become suspicious...this is always a good first impression, especially if she's the model and not the pet regurgitation. For those of you that haven't picked up on my attitude yet...that last part about the good first impression was sarcasm!!

    Really guys, the truth is you're kinda stuck....now you have a 50/50 chance of it being someone cute...so you can bite the bullet and agree to the date or back out and pray that it wasn't the biggest mistake of your life. Not like we all haven't made enough of those to last a lifetime anyway. But should you decide to go through with it, props to you, and I hope things go well for you both...but if she's the pet puke, well can't say I didn't warn ya. For those of you whom chose to pass but need a good excuse so as not to offend anyone, try mine..."I have no money." Though it may seem cruel...it's the truth... :) I have no money!! But for those of you who do, and have no problem with lying, be my guest. Otherwise you'd better get into a car wreck real quick!! And watch those petunias!!!

Enough about your petunias! Take me back home!